I’m not sure if  Kindle has been classified as a controlled substance but maybe it should be.  I can’t put iPad down.  Actually, what I couldn’t put down the most accessible, practical business I’ve read in a long time:  The Entrepreneur’s Trap by my friend, Tina Forsyth.

The Entrepreneur’s Trap:

How to Stop Working so Much, Take Back Your Life and Enjoy Life

That subtitle says it all, right?  You launched your business for probably the same reason I did.  To take care of your family and enjoy the life you want, not the one handed to you.

After 20 years in business, I’m finally at a place (and age, honestly) where I can earnestly begin enjoying my life.   Believe you me, I’ve got a long list of cool things to do that starts with traveling my newly adopted coastline to trying  culinary school.  There’s things to do and need my business to support my life more fully.

Sure, I built a portable training business that allowed me to move from Boston to the absolutely fab Oakland. I also built lots of poor habits and disorganization that had me on the brink of closing shop.  Burned out.

I needed for myself what I try to be for my clients- a kind companion and trusted sherpa- on my journey to a new level of success and freedom.  The Entrepreneur’s Trap is the antidote to burnout for entrepreneurs who still love their work but not their business.

Never walk alone

Tina is a great person to have along on a hike.  Her book is filled with personal stories that reveal her own thinking, obstacles, successes and most importantly, feelings.  All her stories felt like they were my stories too because they rang that true.

It’s so important to have someone who understands the craziness that is entrepreneurship in the way you do.  Yeah, your family loves you but they don’t get your business.  My spouse is an entrepreneur and even HE doesn’t get what I do.

I felt supported by Tina just from her tone.  She’s as goofy as I am, and that’s a compliment.  You’ll enjoy getting to know Tina through the book if you don’t already know her from her YouTube channel or websites.  I consider Tina to be the mother of Online Business Manager  and helping the profession grow to a higher standard.

Keep your promises to you

So many of the ideas and concepts expressed in ET resonated deeply with me personally and also with my work showing others how to speak their truth.  Let’s briefly touch on the ideas that help you make that transformation from what I call a technician, the person who does the work, to conscious business owner, the person who has the vision and the desire to make the work (and their life) meaningful.

Right off the bat, the book asks you to commit.  Something we ask our clients to do, commit to working with me, to choices, to finishing.  How often do we ask ourselves to re-commit to our businesses?  Not often enough, I say. Reading this book, and doing the exercises, will allow you to commit to putting you first and keeping the promises you made when you started.

I promised myself that my work would serve others and work for me, not against me.  Time for me to regroup and has clear step-by-step instructions on how to do that.

I love the part where Tina outlines her 3 reasons WHY you got into business.  For me, those are unspoken promises, the bargain we make with ourselves.  I’ll work so hard if I can just ….  Then we work hard to serve our clients, and harder still until we’ve forgotten our promise to ourselves.

Aside from freedom, money and meaning, I also promised myself  novelty, innovation  and life-long learning in my life.  Anyone who reads my fan page knows I’m a hardcore gadget girl.  (Speaking of which, have you tried my SpeakPipe yet?  Leave me a question).  I’m always sharing a new tool.

However,  unmet needs played havoc with my website and Facebook page because I added things that were great to know, very helpful,  but not directly on point.  I accidentally confused my readers trying to keep my promise.  Now, I realize I can better meet those goals in my personal life  than with my business.

Learn to say no

Let’s face it.  You’re a pleasaholic.  (Dina’s definition: someone who can’t help but say yes)  Most service providers and independent workers and service professionals like helping others and feeling needed.

Yep, you like to please other people.  Not a bad thing.  I like that too.  But when you can’t say no in your business (or your life), well, that has some pretty serious consequences.  Like overworking,ruining your health, feeling at the mercy of your clients, giving away your time and money for no good reason except you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.  You feel me, right?

I’m guilty for sure.  After my divorce, I didn’t say no to any client or opportunity that came my way. I got so bad my doctor told me that unless I reduced my workload and stress she expected to be notified of my death by heart attack before that year’s end.*  My kids were 5 and 6.  I got the message. I turned  my mediator skills on myself and worked out a way for me to say no without feeling guilty or wrong. You have to learn how to protect my own interests.

Inside ET you’ll learn what keeps you from saying no  and ways to approach the subject.  You’ll be empowered to say no working weekends, scope creep, or anything else that you don’t want or like. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here to help you find your words and your courage.

It’s all you

Starting a business is relatively easy.  Learning how to run a successful, profitable business that feels like you takes a lot more effort. 

I firmly believe that the reward for starting your business and serving your clients with the devotion and passion you do is that you get to run your business, your way.    Reading the Entrepreneur’s Trap boosts you up so you can grab the brass ring and enjoy your life and business more.  This book for anyone, newbie or veteran, who want to:

• Build the right type of business for you and your goals
• Eliminate the headaches and hassles of hiring and managing a team
• Use the 10 key systems happy and successful entrepreneurs rely on
• Structure your day so that you can get everything done and still have plenty of time off (including weekends!)

Here’s the deal!

Your business, your life-your way!

I really believe everyone should have this book.  Truly.  It’ll be good for you and good for the world.  Here’s where you can find out about the terrific thing Tina is doing  and how to get your copy of the book. (I’m a Heifer gal myself)

You’re gonna fly through your copy.  I’d LOVE to hear about your biggest takeaway from the book.  Please remember to come back and tell us.  In fact, I might even start a reading circle for this book.  Would anyone be up for that? Leave me a note in the comments- thanks!

On a personal note, I’d like to sincerely thank Tina Forsyth re-igniting my spark.  It’s gonna get hot in here.

* Note: The symptoms for heart attack in men are much better known than the symptoms for women.  My doctor confided that a woman having a heart attack in the mid 90s was  more likely to be misdiagnosed and die in the ER than survive.  Scary thought- know the symptoms and play it safe.  (Doing my best Bones voice from Star Trek- Dammit, I’m a mediator not a doctor.  Get medical advice if you’re concerned)

The post The Entrepreneur’s Trap | Book Review appeared first on Speak Up Powerfully.

How To Rebalance after a Mistake

Did you ever notice that the toughest questions to answer are also the shortest? “Who are you?” seems like a perfectly simple question – until you really think about the answer. It can be so much more complex than your first and last name.
Most people carry an image of themselves in their minds and hearts. It’s like a Polaroid picture, a frozen image that represents the very best of your identity. This image includes all the traits, qualities and ideals that you hold important or dear. I call it your core identity.

That Polaroid acts as a guide for your actions and reactions as you interact with others. Should somebody do or say something that ‘smudges’ your Polaroid, or conflicts with your self-image, you will fight to preserve the image. (‘Those are fightin’ words!)  You’ll definitely know when someone shakes your Polaroid ’cause it hurts and makes you steaming mad.

The natural instinct is to do one of two things: blame the other person (You are  so mean to me) or blame yourself (I am horrible!). You ping back and forth between the two reactions like the puck in air hockey until you wear yourself down with bad feelings. You’ve been there, right?

Be a Movie Star!

The best way to keep your calm in challenging situations is to remake your fixed Polaroid into an evolving story like a movie. You are a movie star! And, you thought  bouncing back wouldn’t be fun! (That’s a picture of Neo from the Matrix, btw)

Remember the thrilling German movie, Run Lola Run, that featured the same basic storyline but with several different endings? Just like that movie, your thoughts and actions can change how you perceive the situation, and even the outcome.

My first trip to Denver for a speaking gig was very exciting.  I’d never been to the Mile High City before and heard it was gorgeous.  I arrived the night before to prep and relax.  Out of the blue, I got horrible flu symptoms. Weak, sweaty, feverish.  So I took myself down to the concierge for some meds.  She knew right away it was altitude sickness, not the flu, that was making me nauseous, and sadly told me I’d be out of commission for 24 hours at least.

How stupid was I for not checking in earlier?  What kind of meeting planner doesn’t alert out of town speakers about altitude sickness?  I was sick and furious with us both!   I took a deep breath and reviewed my movie. Yes, I’m an engaging speaker and educator and clients tell me that through feedback evaluations.  Yes, I pride myself on being prepared with plans from A-E.  AND, I’m human and can only give the best I have at the moment.  AND, G-d laughs when man plans, so who am I to argue?  AND, I’ve run a big event and know  that there’s a the ton of details there is to manage and forget.

I’d calmed myself down and reset my intention to give my all.  I showed up the next morning, worried I might gak on my shoes, and did a fine job.    Sure, I could’ve let those mistakes and the entire situation sideline me, but instead I chose to grow my confidence instead.  Even ill,  I’m pretty kick-ass!

That’s what I want you to realize.   Making a mistake doesn’t negate who you are at your core.   Your core identity is never one thing- competent or a loser; skilled or hopeless; kind or self-centered.   When you realize that you are both the hero and the villain in your own story, it becomes easier to see that in your clients and colleagues too.  And, a whole lot easier to have compassion for yourself and them!

What’s your core identity?

When you raise your self-awareness, and know your movie better, you’ll have an easier time bouncing back. ’It’s a good idea to spend a few minutes thinking about that core identity I talked about.
Take a moment and write the answers to these questions and share in the comments.  Who are you?

Be willing to know that who you think you are may not be who you actually are all the time.  Embrace that and you’ll be able to forgive yourself and others.

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. —Herbert Otto

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Entrepreneurs are a scrappy bunch, which is why I love you so much.  We are used to bootstrapping to make our businesses run.  You wish you made more money.  You try hard to make more.  Longer hours.  More marketing, even though you’re not sure it’s working.  You get used to just scraping by for so long that, well, having more money looks like the key to  success.

But is it really?

Is Money the Key to Your Success?

What would your business (and life) look like if you had all the money you wanted right now?

Provocative question, huh?  What would you do with that money?  Write down a list.

I imagine you writing things like:

• Travel more
• Stop worrying about money
• Stop stressing
• Buy a new house
• Remodel
• Go back to school
• Start a new business
• Indulge your family
• Take better care of myself
• Really enjoy life!

Which of these did you write down?  I’m curious, of course, about what else so feel free to share in the comments. We fool ourselves into thinking that money will make the difference.  If I had enough money, then all these things would be mine, right?  Really?   Seriously, is that true?

Or, is Money a Lock that Chains Your Satisfaction?

I’m gonna push you now.   Maybe wishing for money is your way of preventing yourself from feeling abundant, happy, fulfilled?  Think of it as one of those math logic questions from college where you’re trying to solve the equation.  If X then Y is true.  If you had more money, you’d be happy.

We think money is the key to happiness.  So if you don’t have the key, heck, how could you be happy?  Well, you can be.  Money isn’t the obstacle.  Your stinking thinking is.

Money is Just a Tool- You’re the Creator!

Let’s look back at the list.  In every instance, you can live that dream NOW.  No, perhaps not in the grand way you imagine…yet.  But you can have that happiness, feel that joy now, without some artificial barrier stopping you.  Yes, money is important.  No, it doesn’t have to be what consumes you.  Wherever you are right now, you have the potential to create your best life and life this version of it.

• Travel more-    Take a day trip. Travel is about discovery and you haven’t been everywhere, have you?
• Stop worrying about money.  Take action to make more money. Educate yourself to ask for it.
• Stop stressing- Put that energy into loving compassion for you.  You are doing the best you can (and if  you aren’t, stop hiding & learn to be powerful)
• Buy a new house-  Go to an open house and visualize yourself there.  Same new house glow at no cost! (I still do this!)
• Remodel- Change your curtains and accessories
• Go back to school- Take a course that prepares you for the next level.
• Start a new business- Begin doing online research about  your potential market for free and know you have a winning business.
• Indulge your family- Memories don’t have to be expensive.  Make an experience filled with emotion and connection i.e. making your own family flavor of ice cream
• Take better care of myself- Walking is free.  Beauty schools always need customers in the student-run shops.
• Really enjoy life! Stop and recall what a superhero you are in your own life.  Pretty amazing.  Know that what got you here will take you farther if you want to go.

Something Lara Spencer, news anchor and avid thrifter, said comes to mind here.  Having great taste is about having great style, not a lot of money.  Loving your life is about loving what’s in it, not about more money.   If you don’t like what you’ve got, change something.  Your thinking is a good place to start!

A Powerup Chat Breakthrough!

This shining insight is courtesy of one of my lovely PowerUp Chat mentees, a terrific entrepreneur with two small girls who wants to give them (and herself) the world and is tired of not having the money.

Ecstatic about making a big breakthrough, she emailed me this morning to thank me for her surprise gift ( a perk of being part of my tribe)   My Powerup Chats are private, but she gave me permission to  share this bit with you:

The day you sent that video, I couldn’t get the link to work – their site kept timing on me for some reason. BUT the next morning, it worked like a charm. And I have to say, I watched it a few times. Maybe more than a few times. And I loved it. THANK YOU for your amazing encouragement! It means the world to me.

The past few days have been chock full of ‘aha’ moments and messages and inspiration. It’s overwhelming, lol, but I’m staying open to it all and being GRATEFUL for every last bit of it! My most recent revelation? In the shower this morning – where all the greatest breakthroughs happen, ha! – I was asking (myself, Spirit, God, my guides, my Grandpa, whomever happened to be listening) what I need to do to accept abundance in my life – what is stopping me or preventing me from opening fully to that? I asked myself what I want in an abundant life, and the answer is freedom. Freedom from worry, from stress, from burden of doubt. I want love and laughter and joy and excitement. I want to create, I want to raise my girls in an amazingly nurturing and uplifting way, I want to be able to travel and immerse myself in LIFE. So…what’s stopping me? My initial reaction was money – money is the key. If I had enough money, all of that would be taken care of. But then I got a whisper back...is it? Look closer. I saw Money, but instead of taking the form of a key (as I expected), it was actually the LOCK! The true key is to LIVE those things. To acknowledge and celebrate all the areas in which I already experience abundance – to allow myself to feel abundant in all the areas I seek it. THEN the lock is opened.

I know that action is a critical step in the Secret or the Law of Attraction. It’s like the Italian parable…a man is desperate and poor, and so he goes every day to pray to the statue of a saint. Each day, it’s the same prayer. “Please, please, let today be the day I win the lottery.” After weeks of this daily plea, the saint reaches out to him and answers with a plea of his own. “Please, please, my son, BUY A LOTTERY TICKET.” I’ve taken action, and I continue to, but find myself held in place by my false beliefs and fears – like a stationary bicycle, I’m pedaling for dear life, but never gaining ground! I can feel that all start to shift now, though, and I’m really excited to move!

If you feel ready to make the shift, I’m happy to help. Let’s chat.

The post Is Money the Key or the Lock to your Success? appeared first on Speak Up Powerfully.

Raise your hand right now if you’ve mumbled, stuttered or uhmmm your way through the question: so what do you charge? 

Go ahead, no one can see you.   Almost every mentoring client I have bumps up against this hurdle in the race to have a profitable business.  There are so many hurdles you can’t control like the economy or your best customer cutting back that it makes total sense to crush the hurdles that you can control.  Like getting to be an expert at saying your prices.

It’s Hard to Say Your Price

Owning your own business is like cheap therapy.  All your sh*t comes up.  Whether it’s a need for security, fear of being exposed, or being controlling, your business will pull that to the surface.   Especially the fear of being rejected.  Everybody fears that.  And, that’s essentially what’s at stake when you answer the question: What’s your price?

There’s training for that!

The Olympics are around the corner.  I’m over-the-moon excited to watch because I love the Summer Olympics.  A sprinter way back in the day, I totally respect the level of commitment and training it takes to reach that level of success.  That’s the same commitment it takes to be a profitable entrepreneur.  You gotta work at it.  So, if you want to get a gold medal at saying your price and getting it, start training!

5 Tips to Say Your Price Powerfully

1. Don’t respond immediately to the question.  Pause to silently celebrate the moment.  You are this close to a new client! Yipee.  Also, it makes you look thoughtful.
2. Smile and show your gratitude and excitement.  Customers buy with their emotions.  You want to strengthen that bond of trust and plant the seeds for collaboration
3. Re-confirm the benefits to your client and great work you’ll do together.  Clients rationalize their emotional purchases with logical reasons.
4. Never give a naked number.  Wrap your price in context. Explain the number so you client can see the value
5. Practice saying your number every chance you get.

Of course, this is the beginning of the conversation, not the entire thing.  There’s likely to be some negotiation (which is just purposeful conversation- don’t freak out) And, you’ll need to use your listening and probing skills to discover and remove any other hurdles to working together.  At least, you’re off to a great start by saying your Pricing Statement.

Funny story.  I courted my first corporate client for months before he’d take a meeting.  Then, there was a series of meetings with the HR director and director of Employee Relations.  Then, a mini-audition.   By the time he actually asked me to name a price, I was so thrilled (and frankly surprised) I forgot to say it.  Plumb forgot.  Had to call him back.  When I did I was so flustered and nervous that I said the wrong number.  Way too low.  Of course, he jumped at it.  A costly, humbling mistake that I used to create my Pricing Statement approach.

A Pricing Statement is your explanation of your price.  Sounds simple, right?  It is, after you’ve ironed out the details like your context, big $$ Why, the words to say and of course- your number!  It’s like an elevator pitch for your price.  It helps to have a Sherpa (wink)

Once you understand how to create one you can apply that to your other products or services and use it for future ones.  And, honestly, it’s great not to have to think of something to say in those moments because they are kinda stressed.   Your pricing statement will just flow off your tongue easily, confidently.

Say it Summit- Say Your Price POWERFULLY and GET it!

TUESDAY, JUNE 19    11 am PT/ 2 pm ET

Recently, two different studies shared disappointing news for small business owners that made me get out my cape.  Did you know that more than half of small business owners go without pay?  Or that $25k is the typical annual salary for a microbusiness ower (less than 10)?  I can’t help think that some of those folks are just afraid to say their price and accept way less than they should.  Maybe that includes you too.

The solution?  Share my approach and create a new learning tool to practice.  Viola- Say it Summit is born!

At the Summit-you’ll learn how to create your Pricing Statement.  So, the next time someone asks you’ll be ready.  Very cool=>6  brave, lucky people can become my mentee on the call.  We’ll  work thru your statements together  live on the call.  Pretty exciting stuff.  I’m covering all those conversations that are hard to have.   You can register here.    Busy?  Sign up and get the replay.

PS  Speak up- what other conversations should an entrepreneur or business owner master?

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