Emotional intelligence is not nice

I see the look when I mention my work is in emotional intelligence.  People smile, their eyes gaze and I’m sure they’re wondering, what?

EQ is not nice

So to end some of the confusion, I thought I’d throw out some fast facts,  Emotional intelligence is….

  • not about being nice or accommodating- it’s about knowing your emotions & boundaries
  • not dominated by women- men & women can be equally skilled but at different aspects.  Women are more self aware and empathic while men tend to be better at stress and adapting. All important in EQ
  • a learned skill- although some folks are naturally empathetic and sensitive to others, everyone can improve their own abilities with attention and practice
  • an evolving skill that matures as we age (the up side of being over the hill ;)

EQ is a muscle. Get pumped.

We all know that IQ refers to our book smarts.  EQ is how people smart you are.   Do you know your own feelings, which is not as obvious a question as you might think.  Can you recognize feelings in others?  Do you know how to manage your feelings or those of others skillfully?

We’re gonna be talking more about the components of EQ and how to develop your skills further.  This is the most critical skill you can have as an entrepreneur or solopreneur.

Running your business without knowing your emotions and beliefs is like driving with your eyes closed.  You’re gonna end up somewhere you don’t want to be!

So, of course, I’m curious.  Where do you think you are with emotional intelligence on a scale of low, average, high?

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Leave A Reply (2 comments so far)


  1. Dina Eisenberg
    4 years ago

    Rhonda, I’m doing my happy dance. You SO get it. EQ really is about being open to another person’s experience and perspective. Great thing is, when you make yourself open to people and are willing to engage with curiosity, you’re almost always rewarded with a great outcome.

    You rock. Thanks for coming by.


  2. Rhonda Dougherty
    4 years ago

    Love this article, Dina! Recently my best friend’s son, fairly fresh out of college was selected over many more-experienced applicants and I believe it’s because he has very high EQ, which today in many job function wins out over high IQ.
    For myself, it is the prize I try to always evolve to and keep much of my focus on (while also developing other competencies)
    I’ve found that EQ requires one to relax into a conversation and BE almost IN that person’s frame of reference. It is not effective if you’re trying to “put on” any kind of pretense and requires absolute authenticity. Literally, Being with another.

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