Another reason you avoid conflict

It’s hard to start a difficult conversation when you have  faulty expectations.   You think you’re right. You expect the other person to be mad.  You start  over-predicting failure. This will never work…

Where did all that negativity and stinking thinking come from?  Eh, I hate to be the one to break it to ya…but you.  Over-predicting failure comes from your unconscious mind.

You know how you have an immune system to keep your body healthy?  It keeps you from catching viruses and other nasty stuff. Turns out according to social scientists, your brain has something I call your emotional immune system.  It’s there to keep you from going ahead with any ideas that seem risky to your emotional well-being.  Ding. Ding. Ding.  Houston, we have a problem. Talking about difficult situations is definitely on the high risk list.

That emotional immune system is a good thing.  It protects you from embarrassment and regret. Usually a good thing.  Sometimes,  though, it’s not so good.

if you follow your unconscious blindly without being aware of how those thoughts and decisions impact your daily life, you go astray.  You don’t grow as much as a person as you could because you avoid the hard stuff,  Your business suffers because you become a soft touch. You’d rather stick a poker in your eye than disappoint your best client.  I been there.  There were  conversations I wanted to put off forever, too.

When are you most likely to over-predict failure?  What triggers your emotional immune system?

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